Please don’t ask me for relationship advice unless you are prepared to receive some truly upsetting information because some people are ready for the “He’s exhibiting the literal textbook signs of a psychological abuser and you need to get away from him before he successfully cuts you off from your support network” talk and some people aren’t
FOR WHOEVER NEEDS A REMINDER:
There is never any justification for someone putting their hands on you in any way without your consent short of immediate risk of harm or death.
If someone tells you that “the way I’m acting is your fault because you know that doing X thing would make me do it and you chose to do it anyway” is just fancy bullshit talk for, “I know my behaviour is wrong, but I don’t want to be held responsible for it so I’m pushing it on you”
Nothing good ever, ever comes from someone who tells you, “I don’t want you talking about our relationship with anyone”. This person cannot handle accepting responsibility and processing criticism so they need you to never, ever question them. That’s easier if they control the narrative and your friends aren’t there to cut in.
Nothing constructive comes from screaming.
“It’s not like that all the time” is optimistic and sweet, but the truth is, it shouldn’t be like that at all. Sweet words and gifts and gestures don’t erase being frightened for yourself or for your loved ones. That is not normal. Don’t minimize it.
It is not healthy or normal to be genuinely afraid of saying “no” to someone, for any reason at all. Violence, outbursts, retaliation, anything. You should not have to be afraid of someone’s reaction to your boundaries.
You are not responsible for saving anyone. Even if you love them. Even if they have nobody else. At the end of the day, if they want to hurt themselves in any way, they will, and you can’t stop them forever. People need to want to improve before they can actually improve, and if they’re threatening to harm themselves to keep you around, they’re using your love to hold themselves hostage. You do not decide their choices for them, and they don’t get to shunt that off on you.
There will always be other people who can love you better. You will not be alone forever. This will not be the last time you care for someone like this and it will not be the last time someone cares for you
Facebook deleted this almost immediately. It’s almost like the ultrawealthy don’t want us knowing or talking about what’s at stake.
Just want to add one thing:
In countries with universal healthcare, this is a non-issue during a strike. Our access to healthcare isn’t tied to working. It’s an unconditional right for each and everyone of us.
The US system screws workers over in oh so many ways.
This is exactly why US companies fight so hard against universal healthcare; even if single payer healthcare is cheaper on a per-person basis and takes the cost away from the employer, it also takes POWER and leverage away from the employers… and they don’t ever want to give that up.
there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN
[Image description: Screencap of Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100. End description]
As a 37 year old who’s been running a sole proprietorship for the last 10+ years, I just want everyone who is planning to run a fandom project that involves accepting money for printing & shipping costs to know that you’re actually running a small business and you need to plan for taxes. It doesn’t matter if you don’t make any profit: that is business income and the IRS will see it as such if you get audited.
If you only take enough money in to cover the cost of printing & shipping then you can write that off as a business expense and probably not pay taxes on it, But in order for that to fly you actually have to do business accounting, especially if you’re doing it at scale. Like, you can probably skate by without reporting a $500 project; I absolutely would not fucking risk it with a $5000 project.
Back when I was producing shows there were years when I was where I made $20k in ticket sales only to turn around and immediately pay $18k to my performers. I only made $2k for myself, but I had to report the entire $20k, because it was ALL INCOME. (I only paid taxes on the $2000, because that’s how writing off expenses works!)
Yeah this is boring grownup shit and I’m getting my boring grownup fingers all over your fun fandom, but boring grownups doing boring grownup things are the reason fandom spaces exist at all (paying for servers is deeply boring), and I’m way more fun than an audit
I want to make this absolutely clear to kids: children didn’t used to be stuck inside the house like you are today. There used to be public places you could hang out. It used to be fairly safe to walk around because trucks weren’t designed to kill children. You didn’t need a car to go anywhere so kids without a license weren’t trapped. There weren’t 24/7 cable news networks constantly scaring parents with anecdotes even as crime was at all time lows and the biggest danger comes from adults kids know not strangers.
It’s easy to ignore old people talking about “the good ol’ days” because a lot of the people saying that shit are racist assholes, but the way society treats kids today really is objectively worse than how kids used to be treated. You deserve better, and you should know that better things are possible. We just need to kill the suburbs and for-profit news.
When I was a kid in the 80s and 90s, I could go for a bike ride or walk with my sister or friends and we could leave after breakfast and not come back until dinner and our parents weren’t worried. We lived on the edge of town, so we could turn left into the woods or turn right and go downtown or go straight and go to a friend’s house in the neighborhood. I went to a park or the community pool or went out for ice cream alone from a young age.
I also regularly walked to and from school alone from as young as first grade (so, about age 6). And I’m not saying I walked three miles uphill in snow both ways, but I checked a map and it was over half a mile and crossed at least one street that people drive pretty fast on. And that was normal.
it’s very clear from some communists’ visions of future city-planning that they expect disabled people to just shut up and die, lmao
some disabled people need door-to-door transportation. public transportation will never work for everyone, no matter how much you emphasise that it is “accessible” to some
if any part of your plan involves disabled people needing to “request” exceptions or “prove” that they are an exception or be questioned or tested or navigate any level of bureaucracy to become a Certified Exception, some people are going to be denied things they need & some of them are going to die
If you don’t mind me adding:
3. Some folks dream of the perfect commune where everyone contributes - specifically with labor. If a disabled person not contributing labor isn’t welcome in your community, you are just repackaging the capitalist “labor = worth” mindset
I also get this from climate activists who are heavily focused on eliminating cars, including electric cars with no emissions. I have been wildly attacked for simply pointing out that for some of us, our cars are mobility devices that are critical to our ability to participate in the world.
They love to share concept drawings of imagined high density communities, high rise buildings ringed with walking paths, retail and businesses on the lower floors and apartments above. They also love sharing photos of existing places, usually in Europe, where streets have been closed to vehicle traffic, and turned into pedestrian walkways, or green spaces.
There is never anyone in those images who is noticeably disabled. There aren’t even elderly people with canes.
They declare these spaces to be future that we should all want.
The message is being sent loud and clear.
Not arguing with the point being made here, I completely agree, but I do want to set one thing straight: I live in Europe, and I’ve been to many streets that are closed to vehicle traffic, and I see visibly disabled people and people with walking aids in those places all the time. Always have. I’ve walked around those places with someone who uses a cane. Just because they aren’t in whatever photo you saw doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
It’s not a climate thing. Pedestrian-only streets are necessary in towns that were built before cars. They are usually the main shopping street(s), where having cars drive through is dangerous in more than one way - especially for disabled people and children. The streets and footpaths are too narrow for the level of traffic we have now. If you let cars through there, you’d make the main shopping street inaccessible or at least super dangerous for elderly ladies with walking aids, people in wheelchairs, people with babies in buggies, etc. Not ideal. Pedestrianised places are accessible for those people, the important thing is making sure they can get there. Which, in those photos, you probably also aren’t seeing the car parks that are usually right next to those streets, often underground.
I think maybe this is a case of people trying to apply a European solution 1:1 to the US, and you can’t. First of all, you don’t even have the same problem. Pedestrian-only streets in a German town are imo more comparable to a US shopping mall. You don’t drive around inside those, either, right? Even if you are disabled, you leave the car outside. Same thing here.
Also: the European problem is that medieval towns weren’t built for cars. The streets are tiny. So you have to adapt them, using one-way systems and pedestrian zones. They don’t just close a street, they plan this out to make sure everything’s still accessible. You can still drive around it, park next to it, get there by bus, etc. It’s a matter of adapting a medieval town to modern needs, including the needs of elderly and disabled people.
Anyone sharing this as some kind of climate-conscious car-banning thing doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
@iverna listen, I don’t have the answers for how to adapt 100% of areas for 100% of people and suspect that that’s not necessarily feasible (certainly in the short-term), but I will say that you are completely ignorant of the range of ways in which human beings can be disabled.
it’s an unfortunate aspect of the fact that “disabled” can mean such a huge range of things that a lot people will have frankly irrelevant responses, such as this one, to criticisms of inaccessibility—as though there is only one way to be disabled, such that if some physically disabled people can access something, then that means that all physically disabled people can access it.
the physically disabled people that you see out and about are the ones who have a relatively large amount of mobility. this is what allows them to be out and about on the kinds of streets you’re describing. the people who have less mobility, who are ‘more’ disabled, who need completely level ground to walk even with a mobility aid or to move their wheelchairs over, who are bedridden, these are the people you are not seeing, because they are not able to navigate these kinds of streets. they are largely isolated, at home and ignored.
I can’t emphasise enough how incredibly—ignorant, as I’ve said, but also disrespectful and just plain cruel—it is to say things like “what do you mean this is inaccessible? I’ve seen [SOME] disabled people use it.” this is to use some disabled people as bludgeons with which to discredit and dismiss other disabled people. I hope that you learn from this and don’t say something like this to anyone else.
Like now that I am awake I need to reiterate how huge this is. It was presumed harvested to extinction by the Romans. It was a favorite flavoring and according to historians one of the best contraceptives ever known. True or not it would be fantastic to study that but it being extinct made that impossible.
This is such a huge deal! I hope they get it figured how to grow it.
Just saw a post and someone in the notes was like “I know it’s rude to reblog and add commentary” and no???? This is the reblog and add commentary site ????
The whole point of this hellsite is to reblog and add commentary. And the commentary can either be added directly to the reblog, like so, or you can add it in the tags of your reblog.
We are in the era after it caused SO MUCH, and caused so many sites to put in blocks and other restrictions to stop it from scraping everything
If they are forced to wipe their entire dataset then they won’t be able to get even a fraction of it back!
Not only that, but they would be forced to get permission of the owners for everything they use. Which would IMO, actually kill most of the issues with AI and actually make the technology into something actually useful.
i mean this completely seriously but… a cup of coffee can save your life a little, a shower can save your life a little, making your favorite meal can save your life a little…….little things actually add up to really big things in the long run if you let them, the secret to surviving everyday is infusing a little bit of magic into the mundane i truly believe that
idk how to say this without sounding really boomer-ey, but like, what happened to horror content for kids? maybe i’m using the word “horror” a little liberally but i remember when i was a kid there was SO much out there that existed solely for the purpose of scaring kids in a safe, fun, age-appropriate way. just off the top of my head there’s goosebumps, scary stories to tell in the dark, tales from the crypt (little before my time though), coraline, mirror mask, monster house, dark crystal (more incidentally scary but w/e), even courage the cowardly dog; all these really fantastic books and shows and movies that let kids explore being scared on their own terms.
now there’s idk, those new addams family movies? but those aren’t really scary.
i see people talking about the “kid-ification” of horror games and i can’t help but wonder if part of the reason kids latch onto that stuff so much now is because there’s nowhere else for them to experience healthy, safe fear. a little kid wants to get the thrill of being scared, but their parents won’t let them watch any actual horror movies, so they go on youtube and what do you know, there’s markiplier playing another cheap horror game set in a toy store or whatever, and now that kid’s fear quota is being met. (obviously there’s more to it than that, but it’s a theory i have)
this like, doesn’t really matter probably but idk, i feel bad that ~kids these days~ aren’t getting the experience of something scary made specifically for them with their genuine enjoyment in mind, rather than whatever the next fnaf ripoff is that just wants to sell them merch. being a kid and watching a well-made scary movie feels like you’re finally being taken seriously; you’re not being babied or coddled, you’re being trusted to face the skeksis and the other mother and the nebbercracker house and not back down. i wish people were still making media that respected kids that much.
It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking “criminals” are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted
